Wise up, sucka

...sigh........

It is tempting, when faced with disappointment, to say to oneself "that's it....no more hoping..no more putting yourself out just a smidge...cos it won't work...it's too good to be true....."

That is no way to live.

I like the fact that I feel a lot, that I fall hard, and while I am falling I can feel that weightlessness in my stomach, and heat, and when I kiss her it is like I am inches above the ground, just for a moment....it's the returning to earth and getting the wind knocked outta me that is a bit hard....meh.....so my plan did not work out....anything can happen....I feel the disappointment and then fuckin move on. I'll see her again around and about, maybe I will kiss her again, maybe not- and I CAN be bold and brash and ballsy..and I can ask for what I want (not that I neccessarily get it, but at least I put out the request)...I am learning to believe, and I am learning to expect the unexpected....

fuck this feeling sorry and bitter and morose...fuck it....

life's too damn short.

heh.